From the Hartland | Embracing young independence

January 30, 2013

Throughout the last week, it was brought to my attention that people not only assumed I would be married by this time in my life with at least one child already, but they actually expected it.
The comments of "are you not married yet," or "you are too pretty to not already have a husband," or, my favorite, "you are running out of time! You better find you a husband quick!"
Really? Since when was one and half months shy of being 24-years-old running out of time to get married and have a family?
I am so thankful for those individuals, like myself, that embrace the independence of a young woman. I am going on my 6th year of living by myself, paying my own bills, and still driving the car that I bought at 16 and had paid off by age 19. I know how to change a flat tire, cook a meal, keep my house livable, go out on dates occasionally, hitch up a trailer to a pickup truck, ride a horse, keep myself busy with a hammer and some nails, drive a tractor, and know how to paint my own nails (cherry red is my favorite) and curl my hair. What part of that makes me incapable or in need of being married just because of the number of years I have been living? I'm not quite sure. I do know for sure that any time something arises that I'm not sure how to deal with, I have friends and amazing parents that will always be there at the drop of a hat.
I do know I am not the only unmarried young girl who has these comments made, so for those ladies, I say this; embrace your independence. Be proud of yourself for working to pay your own bills and take care of yourself.
This is definitely not to ridicule those who are happily married with an adorable family by this time in their lives, but is to simply make the beauty of a young independent woman known. There is no fault in it. I have a personality that lets people know that their expectations of where I should be in my life will not alter the outcome of how I choose to live my life, but some young ladies are not as stubborn as I, so comments such as these really get to them.
Take a look at some of these inspiring ladies.
Coco Chanel-learned her sewing skills from nuns in the orphanage where she was raised and used those skills to make one of the most renowned fashion empires ever created. Here's the kicker, she did all of those things without ever being married.
One word; Oprah. Shall I say more? She has reached many milestones in America, and did it all without a ring on her finger.
Diane Keaton-multiple award-winning actress, writer, photographer, mother, and yes, a singleton. She's one of the most successful actresses on the silver screen and did that without being married.
She said "I don't think that because I'm not married it's made my life any less."
I would have to agree.
Susan B. Anthony, Tyra Banks, Condoleezza Rice, Jane Austen; all never married.
That list was just to show that you don't have to be married to be successful. Although I do plan on getting married and having a family one day, it is not something I plan on rushing, nor do I think society should assume that just because someone has graduated from college that she needs to change into a wedding dress after changing out of her cap and gown. Some may not agree, but I know a lot of single young females that would.
I am independent, a hard worker, a business owner, young, southern, and educated. I may be a little stubborn, and lot like my momma, and I am 100% sure that she raised me right. So, take it easy on those young ladies who aren't rushing down the alter, they may be perfectly fine where they are in their lives, or maybe they are making sure they don't settle for anything less than they deserve.
For all those other young, unmarried women who have similar comments made to them on almost a daily basis, take to heart some words from from a young man whom, after a long conversation told me that confidence and independence are two of the most attractive traits a woman can have.
If you know a young woman that fits that description, and you admire her hard work, be sure to let her know. Sometimes those things are good to hear instead of the normal "can't believe you aren't married yet" comments that get thrown our way so very often.
Embrace independence, and God bless…from the Hartland.